Golden Gods

So... so.

I'll just come out with it. This has nothing to do with work. I guess some of these had nothing to do with work, but I tried to keep them related. This is solely for me. Selfish, I know. I just hope it makes me feel better.

A man I knew died this weekend. His car struck a tree, a fire ensued, and he died. Coincidentally, I happened to be driving beneath the underpass where it happened, shortly after it happened, unbeknownst to me. This will mark the second time I've driven past the site of an accident where someone I knew died.

I found out Sunday morning. The thing is... What is the thing, here? He and I had been very good friends. We worked together at one point and played music together. I think, at that time, we were very close. Then we had a falling out. He robbed the place I worked at (he formerly had). I'd just been hired back and I was the prime suspect until he was brought in on charges for something else. Now, all this business with the law isn't meant to sully his memory. He was a good man, he just fell in with bad people.

I know he was a good man, he had a good heart. The day he was sentenced, before he left for jail, he called me and apologized. He told me how sorry he was that he'd gotten me into any trouble. I forget how the rest of the call went. But, at that moment I turned my back on him. I felt betrayed. Betrayal turned into anger, and then I got stubborn. We didn't talk for probably eight years.

Earlier this year, he reached out to me. He invited me to a show his band was playing and I put it off. He sent me another message and said we should get together for a drink, catch up. I put it off. I got so wrapped up in being stubborn and being selfish that I never took the time to tell him I forgave him. I never got the chance to tell him how sorry I was for being such a self centered bastard. And I never will.

Matt, I hope one day, again, we'll be golden gods together. Sleep well.